Introduction
“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.” Ex.20:12.
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” -
Eph.6:1-3
Just two days ago as I write, I had to be in Abuja, Nigeria for a few days and met a sister who was one of my classmates in the University. We had not seen each other for close to a decade now. While trying to catch up on the time apart, she told me a story that illustrates the hazard of disregarding this principle of scripture we are going to be looking at. I feel led of God to share this story as so many people around the world can identify with it one way or the other.
She said about nine months ago as I write, she visited one of her aunts who was sick. She was so shocked to see the way she was being ill-treated by her sons that it set her thinking about this commandment to honor our parents. From her story, the aunt in question had three sons and they all neglected her in her old age when she was sick. The eldest with whom she was staying was very abusive to her. It was so bad that this old woman began to behave like a sub human. Eventually, her womb fell out of her body before she died. Less than six months later, her first son who maltreated her the most died after a brief illness without ever having married or having any child of his own. This young man’s life was cut short and he died without being desired!
As we take a look at this much neglected instruction from the word of God, my intention is to help you see the importance of this instruction and the urgent need to adhere to it. Please understand that an instruction does not rank at par with an advice or admonition. It is a commandment and when commandments are violated, they carry consequences; in this case, grave consequence you do not want to meddle with.
On the other hand, adhering to instructions pave the way for your flights in life. The bible says in Proverbs 6:23 that reproof of instruction are the way of life. The text reads:
“For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:”
The way of life is the way of God and in Isa.55:9, the Lord spoke through the prophet that His ways are higher than our ways. Thus if we must operate by the higher ways of God, we must do so by adhering to His instructions one of which is to honor our parents.
I pray with all my heart that this book will enrich your life in Jesus’ name!
Flourishinggirl
Chapter 1
Who are Your Father and Mother?
The English Dictionary defines a father as a male parent, a man who exercises parental care over other persons; paternal protector or provider; a person who has originated or established something. In the same Dictionary, a mother is defined as a female parent; one’s female parent; a mother-in-law, step mother or adoptive mother. The reference for this can be found in www.dictionary.com/mobile.
Still talking about who parents are, Gen.4:1 tells us:
“And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD.”
The word translated ‘knew’ in this text bears the same meaning as to have intercourse or sex with. When we match this with Gen.1:27-28, God made male and female and blessed them with procreative ability which includes fruitfulness of the body with the ability to have children after their kind. This ability; like we have seen in Gen.4:1 above is activated by sex. For our purpose, let me quickly say here that whereas the bible permits sex only within the confines of marriage, sex outside marriage does not negate the law of reproduction. This explains why not every one born into this world comes in through a proper marriage relationship. Although becoming pregnant outside wedlock could be termed a mistake, the products of such unions are not mistakes as they are bona fide human beings for whom Christ also shed His blood! The bottom line is that if a child can be born, it means God has a purpose for them. Even children who are products of rape are also loved by God because they did not ask to be born; the process of reproduction was forcefully activated and the result turned out to be their birth. As long as a child can be born, there must be parents for them. Those who actually engaged in the act leading to procreation are biological parents to that child notwithstanding their relationship with each other.
In light of the foregoing, we can list the following people as fathers and mother:
1. The biological parents of children whether in a proper marriage or not.
2. The foster parents of children through formal or informal adoption. Formal adoption takes place when a couple who could not procreate decides to adopt a child as regulated by the laws governing adoption in their locality. Another case of formal adoption is when a couple with enough biological children decides to adopt other children to add to their children. An individual may also decide to adopt a child without being married for the love of children and raising one of their own even though they are not married. Informal adoption on the other hand takes place when the parenting of a child devolves on a near or distant relative or friend of the parents of a bereaved child or children.
3. The parents-in-law of spouses to a marriage respectively. In other words, a wife’s parents become the husband’s father and mother and a husband’s parents become the wife’s father and mother.
4. Spiritual parents in the case of someone who leads you to Christ or cares for you spiritually nurturing you to adulthood in the faith to enable you find your feet and become a spiritual parent to others also.
5. In the case of your work, someone who mentored you in your trade or profession.
Chapter 2
The Commandment
“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.” Ex.20:12.
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” -
Eph.6:1-3
The commandment to honour our father and mother entails that we treat them with love and respect. In addition, the word translated “honour” in this text is the same word translated honour in Proverbs 3:9 which read:
“Honour the LORD with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase:”
In this text of scripture, honor communicates the responsibility of children to not only love and respect their parents, but to honor their parents with their substance or money. In other words, just as parents were financially responsible for their children when the children were incapable of being responsible for themselves, the children are expected to do the same for their parents. In addition to this, they are to give of their substance to their parents as a mark of honor even when the parents do not need their substance. We all know that God does not need our substances, yet we give to Him. So any time we give of our substance to God, it is not because God is in need but as a mark of honor to Him in obedience to His word.
For several years, I thought my father did not need my money because I felt he had money, but I was wrong. It was a proper understanding of this scripture that corrected my thinking.
When I was in the University, I knew several cases of people who were ashamed of their parents because of a warped way of thinking. They were living false lives and wanted to be seen as rich men’s kids when they were not. They covered up their inadequacies with a lot of promiscuity to enable them generate the revenue required to live up to their make believe ‘status’.
There was actually a case of a lady whose father came to visit her and she claimed he was their gardener! This is the height of dishonor. If you truly honor your parents, you will be proud of them and enjoy the love they shower on you.
Like we have seen earlier, honor entails that you treat your parents with love and respect. This is also reflected in the way we talk to them. When you see some children talk to their parents sometimes, you wonder who the parent is! The height of it is when a child raises his or her hand to hit the parent in a brawl! Some children are so arrogant that their parents are afraid to correct them. Sadly, some children abuse the culture that seeks to protect them from abusive parents by calling the Police for every flimsy excuse including making much ado about the parent’s effort to bring them to order from their unruly behavior.
Before speaking back to your parents or speaking ill of them in your heart or when they are not there, remember Proverbs 20:20 which says:
“Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness.”
This explains the reason for many empty vessels roaming the streets today. No light and consequently no substance to offer to their generation and posterity. The result is that because they cannot give what they do not have, this attitude is passed down to posterity and the result is that another generation of worthless children is created and the world just keeps getting worse. The sad thing about this whole thing is that even some Christians are found in this situation and you wonder if there is any hope for the world if those who are supposed to be the light of the world have refused to shine their light.
Your Parents Need Not Meet Any Condition for You to Honor Them
A look at the commandment again would reveal to us that no conditions are attached to the order for the parents to fulfill before you honour them. The only thing a person needs do to receive this kind of honor is to procreate. Once one is a parent, it is required of the children to honor the parents.
This truth makes void every counsel of ‘ministers’ that the children should not honor a mother or a father for being a witch or promiscuous or whatever. The truth is that no child has a right to judge the parent. The divine instruction (not exhortation and not advice) is to honor your father and mother. That is what we must do.
In fact if you are afraid of a parent because he or she is a witch/wizard or an occultist, then your Christianity is questionable because the bible says greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world. If the greater one is really in you, then you should not be intimidated by any demonic power.
The bible says in Matthew 10:1 that Jesus has given us power over unclean spirits to cast them out. Also, in Luke 10:19, we are given authority to tread on snakes and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy and nothing is permitted to hurt us. The beauty of casting out evil spirits is that you can do it from any distance because there is no distance in the realm of the spirit. I recall once praying for someone who was being plagued by a spirit of insanity at home and the hand of God went to touch him in the hospital and he regained consciousness. In the same way, you can cast out any devil manipulating any of your parents and set them free wherever they are. This is how you show your love to them. Kenneth Hagin in one of his books told of casting out three evil spirits from his son-in-law who was some distance from where he was because they were in two different states in America.
A Commandment with an Incentive
A look at this commandment also discloses a very interesting fact that it is a commandment with an incentive attached. These incentives are long life and prosperity [“…and it will be well with thee”]. I once heard Mike Murdock say that he does not pray for long life; he simply honors his parents. This is living wisely. You will do well to do likewise. More will be said on this in a later chapter.
Obey your Parents in the Lord
There are parents in the Lord we must obey. Anyone who nurtures you spiritually is your parent in the Lord. When they give you spiritual instructions, you are to obey for your own good. I always tell my assistants that every time they follow what I teach them, they are not doing me a favour; they are helping themselves because they would be the ones to reap the benefits of their doings. For instance many of us never knew how to preach until we submitted to the tutelage of others God graciously set over us to feed us spiritually. As we followed their instructions over the years, our lives have improved to the point that we can also mentor others. So you are the one who will actually benefit from your obedience and not your parents in the Lord!
No comments:
Post a Comment