THE TRAP OF PRIDE

SIGNS OF A PRIDEFUL DISPOSITION 1

Pride can manifest in their victim’s behaviour as follows:

First, Prideful people believe unjustifiably that they are better than others. It is the opposite of humility and has no gain whatsoever. They are like the empty vessels that make the loudest noise. This is what informed the attitude of the Pharisees in the days of the Lord Jesus Christ selecting the highest seats at events for themselves. In Matthew 23:1-7, Jesus said:

“Then spake Jesus to the multitude, and to his disciples,

Saying, The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat:

All therefore whatsoever they bid you observe, that observe and do; but do not ye after their works: for they say, and do not.

For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers.

But all their works they do for to be seen of men: they make broad their phylacteries, and enlarge the borders of their garments,

And love the uppermost rooms at feasts, and the chief seats in the synagogues,

And greetings in the markets, and to be called of men, Rabbi, Rabbi.”

From this text of scripture, we gather that proud people draw their strength from the accolades of men which in turn pump up their ego (self) and this is a big problem because it results in unbelief. In John 5:44, Jesus reproved the Jews with these words among others when they sought to kill Him for calling God His father:

“How can ye believe, which receive honour one of another, and seek not the honour that cometh from God only?”

From this text, we gather that those who seek to draw their strength from human approval would walk in unbelief as it would be impossible for them to please God for the following reasons: first, God cannot be pleased without faith and whatever promotes unbelief like human approval works against faith. Isaiah 55:8 makes us understand that the ways of God are higher than the ways of men. To access the higher ways of God require faith. Then Heb.11:6 makes us understand that without faith we cannot please God as coming to God requires that we believe in His existence and diligently seek Him. Secondly, the mindset of natural men runs counter to that of God. We are made to understand from 1Cor.2:14 that the natural man cannot receive and experience the things of the Spirit of God and Romans 8:7 says natural people cannot please God.  

This was the problem Saul had that made it impossible for God to establish his kingdom. After Samuel pointed out his offence before God to him and told Him of God’s verdict, instead of concerning himself with the issue at hand before God, he requested that Samuel should honour him before the people. This clearly pointed out to God and all wise observers that Saul like many politicians and even some ministers (sad to say), rated human approval higher than divine approval. You will find this account in 1Sam.15:16-30 thus:

Then Samuel said unto Saul, Stay, and I will tell thee what the LORD hath said to me this night. And he said unto him, Say on.

1Sa 15:17  And Samuel said, When thou wast little in thine own sight, wast thou not made the head of the tribes of Israel, and the LORD anointed thee king over Israel?

1Sa 15:18  And the LORD sent thee on a journey, and said, Go and utterly destroy the sinners the Amalekites, and fight against them until they be consumed.

1Sa 15:19  Wherefore then didst thou not obey the voice of the LORD, but didst fly upon the spoil, and didst evil in the sight of the LORD?

1Sa 15:20  And Saul said unto Samuel, Yea, I have obeyed the voice of the LORD, and have gone the way which the LORD sent me, and have brought Agag the king of Amalek, and have utterly destroyed the Amalekites.

1Sa 15:21  But the people took of the spoil, sheep and oxen, the chief of the things which should have been utterly destroyed, to sacrifice unto the LORD thy God in Gilgal.

1Sa 15:22  And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.

1Sa 15:23  For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king.

1Sa 15:24  And Saul said unto Samuel, I have sinned: for I have transgressed the commandment of the LORD, and thy words: because I feared the people, and obeyed their voice.

1Sa 15:25  Now therefore, I pray thee, pardon my sin, and turn again with me, that I may worship the LORD.

1Sa 15:26  And Samuel said unto Saul, I will not return with thee: for thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, and the LORD hath rejected thee from being king over Israel.

1Sa 15:27  And as Samuel turned about to go away, he laid hold upon the skirt of his mantle, and it rent.

1Sa 15:28  And Samuel said unto him, The LORD hath rent the kingdom of Israel from thee this day, and hath given it to a neighbour of thine, that is better than thou.

1Sa 15:29  And also the Strength of Israel will not lie nor repent: for he is not a man, that he should repent.

1Sa 15:30  Then he said, I have sinned: yet honour me now, I pray thee, before the elders of my people, and before Israel, and turn again with me, that I may worship the LORD thy God

A second sign of a prideful disposition is seen in the habit of Keeping malice with other people and refusing to make the first move at reconciliation. For instance, in your family, you may have had a little argument with your sibling which may not even be an issue strong enough to warrant your time to remember it. The next thing you do is give the person the silent treatment. This situation could even exist between spouses! It is interesting to know that some men give their wives the silent treatment just because of a little disagreement and in other cases, it could be vice versa. I recall living with one of my uncles several years ago and discovered that the owner of the house we were living in had been in malice with his wife for about eighteen years even though they were living in the same house. I found this rather strange. In fact, the man died about sixteen years after this without reconciling with the wife! When I think about his case, I cannot help wondering where he is now spending eternity. When parties who do this are unbelievers, it is quite understandable because anyone who is not born again, does not have power over pride. They will fall into it anyhow. Believers however have power over pride because the new creation is the nature of the Lord Jesus Christ which is humility. Sadly you still find some believers playing with pride. They keep malice and refuse to make the first move at reconciliation. When you find yourself refusing to make peace with a fellow believer because you feel too much to make the first move at peace making, you are listening to pride and drinking in its poisonous venom. If you do not stop it, it will stop you. This is how dangerous pride can be to its victim. If you are reading this book and still keeping malice with someone and finding it difficult on your own to make the first move at reconciliation, you have been trapped, but the good news is that you can lose yourself from the trap and humble yourself and make the move at reconciliation. An apology will not reduce your esteem before God; it will increase it and it is only God’s opinion you should be concerned with more than any other. Pride is the only poison I know of that would not kill you if you swallow it. Put the devil to shame today and make peace with your neighbor. A friend once told me how he had a little argument with a neighbor of his who was an expert at the silent treatment. He was a believer and was not comfortable with the silent treatment the neighbor gave him at all. So one day, he walked up to her and told her he was tired of the silent treatment that she should please forgive him. That was the end of the strife. It paid off for this brother because his relationship with God was more important to him than self-importance.

A third sign of a prideful disposition is the inability to apologize for any wrong done to another. In fact such people feel that the world should answer to them; meanwhile, they have nothing to offer the world. I know of a man some years back; a Pastor! who offended his wife and his cousin witnessed the incidence and advised him to apologize to the wife that what he did to her was not good. He replied: “I cannot apologize to my wife!” This was a habitual behavior of this man among other things and the wife eventually left him. In fact, this same attitude of his drove all his Church members away and he is eventually out of the ministry and is presently jobless and in want! The inability to say you are sorry when you should, spells only one thing; pride has been used by the devil to trap you! A person like this would rather look for other means of reconciling (especially when they stand to gain some advantage from the offended person) than saying they are sorry. Sometimes, you may be right, but for the sake of peace, you could apologize to another because the word of God in 1Cor.6:1-8 makes us understand that our inability to take wrong shows a fault in us; I believe that fault is pride. That text of scripture reads as follows:

“Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints?

Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters?

Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life?

If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church.

I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge between his brethren?

But brother goeth to law with brother, and that before the unbelievers.

Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded?

Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren.”

Sadly, this is the situation with some believers and we do not have to live like this!

A fourth sign of a prideful disposition is the inability to acknowledge the better performance of others: A proud person cannot acknowledge that any other person does what they do better than them. For example, a proud person will never acknowledge any member of his profession who has gone ahead of him as making any input in his life. I got scared for a fellow minister some years back when I commented that a message he taught was similar to what I had read from Kenneth E. Hagin of blessed memory and he replied with some uncomplimentary remark about this great author. Interestingly, when I read a book written by this young man later, I immediately saw that he did not quite understand the concept of man being spirit, soul and body. Meanwhile, this is one light that God used Kenneth E. Hagin to bring to the Church that has resulted in the liberation of many. This attitude is what the bible calls a high look and God considers it an abomination. Ps.101:5 says:

“…him that hath an high look and a proud heart will not I suffer.”  

The International standard version puts it this way:

“…I will not allow the proud and haughty to prevail.”

In the God News Bible, it is translated as follows: “I will not tolerate anyone who is proud and arrogant.”

Also, Proverbs 21:4 says:

“An high look, and a proud heart, and the plowing of the wicked, is sin.”

As we all know, sin is offensive to God and God is the one person we must not offend.

The fastest way to learn is to acknowledge the good works of others and enjoy them. It will only be a question of time before you will also start contributing your own good works to the world.

A fifth sign of a prideful disposition is the inability to take on little tasks: I once had an associate Pastor who was having some financial issues. I offered him some copies of one of my books to sell and take care of his financial challenge. He felt so insulted that he sent me an anonymous text message when I went back to my station telling me off for all I was worth for being rude to my associate pastor in Nigeria. I was taken aback and wondered what I did wrong. I immediately made up my mind that I would call him and ask if I did or said anything to offend him, I was going to apologize first before letting him know of the text message and discussing it with him. When I called and asked if I offended him, he said I did not. I later helped him out of his financial predicament and two month later, he sent me a resignation by text message! As soon as I saw the text, I immediately knew that he sent that anonymous text two months earlier. A month earlier, I had gone with two associates to my country for a leadership Conference and I had all of us including this Associate and his wife lodged in a hotel near the venue for the duration of the conference after which they all went to lodge at this Pastor’s house pending their departure four days later.

I sent for the Associate Pastor with me and asked him what was said about me when he was at the Associate Pastor’s place and what he told me showed that the Pastor was embittered against me and referred to the incident when I told him to sell books to take care of his financial predicament as an insult. In fact my ears were full, but I felt bad for this young man because of the consequences of the kind of mindset he still maintained even after ten years of making spiritual investments in his life. I did not say a word to him about his action since he did not seem to want to face me. Besides, my attitude to those working with me is that they are in God’s employment even though I was instrumental in employing them. So, it was not me he walked out on but God as such the matter was purely between him and God. I just let him go and moved on.

So many people like this young man have truncated their destinies with this kind of attitude of despising seemingly little tasks in the house of God. The truth is that with God, there is no small task. Anything that has to do with God is a high calling. So a refusal to do little tasks disqualifies a person from taking on the big tasks!

A sixth sign of a prideful disposition is the inability to openly acknowledge a weakness and deal with it. In Jn.3:19-20, Jesus said of these kinds of people:

“…light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.

For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.”

People who fall into this category are Christians who have privately indulged in something shameful and find themselves in a position where they need to admit that fault openly to be able to get rid of it but refuse to do it so as to be seen to be better than they really are. I once saw a Christian movie in which the devil assigned some of his agents to extract bitter tears from people. In that film, the devil made them understand that one bitter tear from a saint is more valuable to him than that of many unbelievers. One of the witch doctors assigned to extract the bitter tears decided to engage the services of a very wicked witch whose target was a saint who rented an apartment in her premises. She decided to influence her falling into fornication with her fiancé and when she succeeded, decided to terminate the fiancé on the day of their wedding. The Lord revealed this to the Christian lady’s Pastor who asked her about it but she denied any such thing because she was a Church leader and could not bring herself to admit that she had fallen into such a sin.

In another scene, the witch doctor was seen trying to ask the wicked witch if their plan would work out considering that the girl would repent and disclose the matter to their Pastor. The witch replied that pride would not let them repent and sadly, she was correct. At the end of the day, they were able to extract the bitter tears from the saint because she was too prideful to admit what she did and repent.

In real life today, many are plagued with this same situation. When you are unable to openly admit a wrong done in private publicly when you need to, it is because of pride. The unwillingness to expose their weaknesses for instance, not knowing that such things need to be brought out to the open if we must be set free from them; is the reason why many men and women cannot openly admit an extra marital affair when the need arises. They would rather want to maintain an image of the upright when this is not the case. The result is that many people are laboring under this deadly curse brought upon them by their pride and claiming that they are the victims of their enemies. The real enemy in this case is the person hiding his sin to keep up a false self-image.